ranger_pokey's Journal
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Monday, March 6, 2006
LJ isn't blocked at school. Neat. =)
Current mood:  accomplished
Sunday, August 28, 2005
In the spirit of being trendy, I just gotta My Space.
www.myspace.com/rangerpokey
How do I get friends? =(
Current mood:  confused Current music: The Kinks "Good Day"
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
I heard the ice cream man! Oh yes I did! But I missed him, but that's okay cuz I heard him. Woot!!!
So I have two book reports, an essay, and tons of homework to do. But I'm not doing it, I'm just mopping around. I want to go out tonight. Really bad. There's tons of parties in North, but I don't have a ride and all of the North girls hate me cuz somehow everybody found out that I fooled around with some guy that every girl in North is in love with. So, yeah...
I really wanna go to Anne Marie's, but she's pregnant. And I can't bare to watch a pregnant girl smoke pot, which I know she'll be doing, and it pisses me off. I mean, I don't care if my friends smoke pot, but I love her, and I don't want her to have a mentally challenged baby. But it's 4:20 so legally she has to smoke or something...idk. Whatever.
I have to work 11-3 tomorrow and then 8-4 the rest of the week. Which totally sucks cuz I have a lot of homework, and I'm gonna have to look at my ex and his new girlfriend for collectivly 28 hours this week. Fuck.
But, The Shins concert is tomorrow! And if I manage not to get my dad's blood pressure up again before 5:30 tomorrow night, I'm going! WOOT!
That is all.
-L-
Current mood:  stressed Current music: Blink 182 "Always"
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
So, California is awesome. You just have to be with the right people. I was not with the right people.
I think I'm the only person in the world who isn't glad it's vacation. But I have good reasons not to be glad:
*Staying at my dad's until Sunday
*Greg won't come save me
*I'm loney
*I have to work
So, ya...
But California was beautiful. My dad, sandy and monica were picking on me the whole time though. They don't like me, I can tell.
...I don't really like them either. Not right now anyway.
Anybody who wants to save me from this place, I'll pay you. IDK how you want to be paid, I'll do it. ^_^
Current mood:  bored Current music: Beck "E-pro"
Sunday, April 10, 2005
So in the past week, two ex boyfriends have parked outside of my house and not moved, just parked. And then told me about it later. Weirdness. Ex boyfriends parked outside of house in woods = very creepy.
Today work blew. It blew hard. I was on 8-4 and I got sick at like 1:30ish and I threw up in the crew room. Don't ask why. And then I got dizzy and fell and I was like in the process of passing out, black spots, dizzy, can't breath, but luckily I didn't. But it sucked so bad. This boy that really hates me came in and was like "BECKY! BECKY!" and then these boys (one of which is the creepy ex outside my house) were making fun of me. "Well, I'm not picking her up", and making barfing noises. ='( I don't know why they're so mean to me. I need to start code names or something since I'm too paranoid to mention real ones. Either way, these two boys that were making fun of me totally suck because one was on the phone with me until 2am this morning and the other comes around like every month when he has "LeAnne withdrawels" or some shit and wants some action. I don't know why I care, I shouldn't. Ugh...IDK.
But, I'm leaving soon. Wednesday I'm leaving, thank God. I don't have to go back to work until the end of April. I'm so excited. And then when I come back CONCERTNESS! (Hopefully) Woot!
But now I have to pack and do homework and clean. So bye all...comment.
-L-
Current mood:  tired Current music: Pixies "where is my mind?"
Monday, April 4, 2005
8:41PM
So everything at work totally sucks. I'm a dumbass, and I told my ex what happened with that other boy, because I'm a dumbass and I can't lie for shit. But luckily, he doesn't believe me because he thinks that the other boy is God and would never do that to him, and Mel and I have decided that he's in love with him secretly---but my ex still told a bunch of people. And the boy that my ex thinks is God is now quitting? I think, idk, but he left work yesterday and I think it might be because of me, and it just sucks. So...fuck. Now all the girls at work are gonna hate me because I'm a "dirty lying whore." When I might be the only person there who actually tells the truth, and that's why I get all this shit dumped on me. I know that this would be a lot easier to understand with some names...but if somebody who hates me read this found their name in here they'd probably beat me up. OH yeah, I have an actual fear of being beat up now, isn't that nice. Me.
On the upside, my hero might be coming back to work. On the downside, if he comes back I'm not allowed to leave. Eh, he's worth it. Yes, Greg rocks enough for me to stay there for him.
Leo Club blew tonight.
And now I don't think I'm gonna go to the killers concert, and that would blow. But..err...idk.
I'm tired.
Current mood:  cranky Current music: Not Howie Day..that's for sure...
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
I had to work today, it wasn't too bad. I just minded my business only talked about work and stuff like the news, nothing personal. Nubia and Becky were on, but besides getting dirty looks from Nubia, they left me alone. And Tiff was on and she kicks ass, so it was cool. But I was still really upset like I have been lately, even though I'm trying really really really really hard to suck it up. So the only solution was to have this boy--er, I don't wanna say his name even though not a lot of my friend friends know him..we'll call him Hairy. So hairy picked me up from work, and we, err...well we didn't have sex. I'll say that much, we were gonna do it, but my first time WILL NOT be in the back seat of a car--it's too cliche pour moi. ^_~ But I'll spare you guys the rest of the details though. But ya, I'm in a pretty good mood though. But I have this huge craving for chocolate. Funny how things work...
OH ya, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TROY!! LoL, and that's all. G2G, homework.
-L
Current mood: calm Current music: REM "All the way to Reno..."
Monday, March 28, 2005
Ya, so I'm definitly not doing well in my classes. I'm very distracted. Actually, I'm really not, I'm just lazy. Every one of my comments on my progress report was "Does not work to potential". Hah.
So ya, things are like beyond fixing at work, but I gotta suck it up. It's so Snafu. Ya, I stole that from Greg. Snafu= Situation Normal All Fucked Up. ^_^ I think Nubia's gonna cut me or something. I'm in fear of my life, not just my heart. This is not good. =/
Meanwhile, I have two tests tomorrow. Shit. I'm gonna go study. Actually, I'm probably not, but it sounds good.
-L
Current mood:  ditzy Current music: Pink Floyd "Us and Them"
Saturday, March 26, 2005
11:38PM
Kevo Levesque rocks hardcore.
So I broke up with Ben yesterday before he got a chance to break up with me, which he was definitly trying to do. And then like two hours later he asked out our friend, my friend, Anna, and she said yes. And I had to work with both of them today. I was on 8-4 and Ben was on all day and Anna came on a little later. And I missed the egg hunt, and everything just sucked. What does she have that I don't? Ya, her boobs are bigger, but they're saggy and old looking, and she has greasy hair. My hair is shiney and my boobs don't look old. >_< And then this psycho Nubia was bitching at me about Becky (my 27 year old pathetic manager who obsesses over 16 year old boys), and so I was just like "Fuck you, you all suck" and I left. Blaaaaahhh.....
On the upside, I'll be in California in like 15 days. And when I get back from Cali I get to see the shins. And then a month after that it's my 16th birthday, and a month after that I get to see the killers, and a month after that it's summer! WOOT! So, regardless of the fact that I got dumped for somebody else and a 19-year-old bitch and a 27-year-old psych wanna beat me up...I'm not doin' too bad. ^_^
GO me.
-L
Current mood:  optimistic Current music: REM "Man on the Moon"
Friday, March 25, 2005
So I broke up with Ben this afternoon. Well, he broke up with me. No, I did it. IDK, I suggessted it and he agreed. Mutual? IDK, either way it's over. And now people are telling me him and Anna (the girl that asked him to prom) are gonna hook up. So work is definitly gonna suck. I'd quit, but I'm not that big of a pussy.
I have to write an essay on fascism and do two lab reports and write some form of an article this weekend. Ack. It's not my day.
I go shopping though, spent somewhere around $400 on clothes and shoes. Note to self: Never go shopping in the middle of a break-up.
Well, g2g, Mel's here. ^_^
-L
Current mood: crappy Current music: Wilco- How to fight lonliness
Thursday, March 24, 2005
8:11PM
Ok, so, I thought I fixed things with my boyfriend, but he still doesn't call or make plans and when I try to make plans he's always "busy". And tonight he's sleeping over a friends house even though we were gonna hang out. Ugh. Whatever. I'm too young for this, I'm not happy. I'm gonna break it off...maybe. Err...no I'm not, I like him. IDK, this sucks man. I wanna fix things, but I'm starting to think maybe it isn't all my fault. God, I just really really really don't wanna be alone. ='(
But, on a happier note:
THE SHIIIIIIINNNNSSS!!! Me and Mel are gonna see the on April 21st at Brown! *AND* if my dad doesn't tell my mom what he thinks "Lupos is all about", I'm gonna see The Killers in June! WOOT! WOOT!
And, ya that's really it.
Current mood: gloomy
Sunday, March 20, 2005
I'm not really sure what to do anymore.
I think my boyfriend and I might be over, it's kind of hard to tell. Things were weird today, he would barely even look at me. Maybe I'm overreacting, maybe it's no big deal. I had to almost beg him to go in the crew room with me when I was off so I could get a kiss good bye. I used to just look at him and he'd kiss me and now I have to ask. Maybe he's just not feeling well, maybe I'm just crazy. But I just can't help but feel that I've done something wrong, but I don't know what. I don't want to lose this one though...
He's so nice and cute and funny and perfect and I screwed up. I just don't know how. ='(
I don't think I should've gone back to McDonalds, but I can't quit again now. Some really fucked up stuff happened last night at Rock n' bowl that I probably shouldn't talk about here. But I screwed up last night too, just not with my boyfriend--with almost everybody else in my world.
I just wanna be happy, but I don't think it's possible.
I really just need to mind my own business and laugh and play dumb. Or maybe I should stop trying to make everything work out, and just be myself. Either way I suck.
-L
Current mood: guilty Current music: Radiohead "Creep"
Monday, March 14, 2005
UPDATE! WOOT! I'm so not good at keeping this thing updated, but I'm trying for my many fans. ^_~
So, who gets the 'Dumbass of the Year' award? Me. I quit D&D's, it was driving me insane. People were right when they told me to never waitress. That's not the dumbass part; however, the dumbass part was after quiting I decided to go get my job back at McDonalds. From the surface this seems like a great idea: I know what to do there, I have a lot of friends there, my boyfriend works there, steady pay, room for promotions, etc...but, take a closer look and it's not such a great idea:
The friends: There are so many great people there I can't even begin to name them all, but then there's Brittney and Becky. :screams: Brittney I can deal with, she's supposed to be moving soon anyway, but Becky---Fuck. She's a 27 year old basically in love with a 16 year old that I kinda sorta used to be friends with benefits with---so she hates me. And she's out to get me, and she could probably take me. =/
The boyfriend: OMG I'M SO CRAZY ABOUT BEN! But lately I feel like I'm pushing him away, or he's pulling away or something. IDK, I'm sure everything will be fine. OR at least I hope it will, but what if working with him changes things? It should be good cuz we'd get to see eachother more often, but what if we see eachother too much? What if he gets sick of me? I'm so insecure when it comes to guys, it's not good. I need to work on that cuz this one is a keeper. Seriously guys, Ben rocks. I'm starting to think that there are actually 3 nice guys left on the planet. Two of them are dating eachother and the other one is my boyfriend. So I can't lose him because then I'll be known as the girl who lost the only nice straight guy left on the planet, and that would be one huge suck fest. Soooo....needless to say, I'm worried if Ben is comfortable with me coming back. He says he is, but IDK, maybe I should just stop worrying about it and see what happens.
MY first day is either this weekend or sometime next week, so we'll see what happens. I mean, c'mon, it's just an after school job at McDonalds. Besides all of the factors above and the fact that this job completely corrupted me (if you don't understand ask Mel), whats the worst that could happen? \
ON a lighter note: I'M GETTING THE TAURUS! WOOT!! Mom is getting a Toyota Sienna, but keeping the van, so Pete gets the van and I get the Taurus! ^_^ The new van is so nice, DVD player, leather seats, moon roof, all wheel drive, 6 disc CD changer...don't ask where we got the money for this, because I have no clue. I mean, if we can get a new van this nice I shouldn't be forced to keep a job anyway, but I'm not gonna complain, cuz I get car. Maybe Pete is selling body parts on the black market or something...
I'm in a pretty good mood.
I'm not doing so hot in my classes though, well, I'm doing okay but I'm barely passing geometry. If anybody knows where I could find a tutor please let me know! LeAnne needs a tutor straight away! I'll give good pay...kind of, probably not...but I would give you food. I'll make cupcakes and lemonade, it'll be grand.
Exactly one month until California! I can't wait to go some place without snow! I need to start working on my tan too. Wait, I am tan...nevermind, that just sounded like the right thing to say, lol. I'm a loser.
Aaaaannnnndd.....I think that's it. Oh, wait, I almost forgot: THE SHINS ARE COMING TO BROWN ON APRIL 21ST!!!! I really don't think my dad will let me go. Ugh...I'll sneak out if I have to because, well, lets face it: THE SHINS!
I'm seriously done now. I have two articles to write. Call me.
-L
Current mood:  dorky Current music: Eric Clapton "Layla"
Saturday, March 5, 2005
9:05PM
Ashley Mahone died last night. ='( I found out when I was at Ben's brother and sister's b-day party, his mom told me. I'm really worried about Kyle, they were best friends. He came by Ben's house when I told him I was there on my cell, he was chain smoking cigarettes and he just didn't seem good. He wasn't crying or anything, of course, neither were Ben or Chris- just me-the only girl. But he wasn't good.
I'm watching the kids tonight, i can't go anywhere and I really really want to. I wish there was something I could do.
I loved Ashley. =(
Current mood: worried Current music: My cousin's yelling over the Austin Powers upstairs...
Wednesday, March 2, 2005
I just actually wrote a long entry. But then it some how went away. :cries:
Main points in entry:
*Went to the Y tonight. Ben came with the ENTIRE FAMILY and Jill. And he and I still managed to make in the car three times and the van once and only get caught twice. Woot.
*At the Y I also managed to make Mr. and Mrs. Baker a lepruchan door hanger, because I wanted to make a good impression on them tonight when Ben dragged me inside in stead of letting me go home in peace. But now I just think they think I'm weirder then they already thought I was. Wait...Fuck, I confused myself again.
*Ben can't go to the dance, I'm a little bummed. I'm not sure if I wanna go now. I got an outfit but I could just wear that on easter. I just wanna be with him, for some reason. IDK, I'm in a funk. I just feel like lately he's all I have. When I try to talk to other friends they've just been making me feel stupid and whiney. And I'm not, I don't think. Not usually, IDK, even if I am my friends shouldn't make me feel that way. =/
*I have to babysit on Saturday. Matt, John James, Chris and...and...CAITLIN. Ugh...I should just jump off a cliff now. And that was the only night I could've seen ben this weekend. Err. And I'm not even getting paid. Fuckers. OH well...
And that was it. Night.
Current mood:  indifferent Current music: Wilco "Via CHicago"
Wednesday, February 9, 2005
Friday, February 4, 2005
Even though he's been here for like 2 years, but whatever.
School was alright today. This really nice guy Jason is in my geometry class. He's a senior and he's gonna be 19 because he dropped out for a year. And he's already taken calculus and he took geometry in 8th grade. So he's gonna help me out a lot. Thank God.
My ex is in my science class, which I thought would be really awkward but it's actually really cool. Today when I was coming down the stairs from journalism, he was WAITING for me. I thought it was adorable.
I'm talking to Ben. Last night he said he really liked me, again. And he told me he thinks I'm beautiful, again. I like him sooo much.
Please don't let him be gay....
So this is my first weekend with no work. And I'm at Roy's. Tomorrow I'm gonna go to my brother's basketball game and I think I'm going to Rock'n'Bowl.
Ben won't stop talking about his ex...
But back to the bowling, I think I'm going to Tiff's house after so that'll be cool.
Ben is still talking about his ex even though I hinted for him not to...
Okay, he stopped.
Moving on, my sister is going to work at McDonalds, replacing me. No joke. My mom went in today and was like "So do you miss Leanne?" and I guess everybody was like "Oh yeah, I miss her." and then my mom said "Well my other daughter Monica wants to work here" So then Rick, the store manager, says "Have her fill out an application, she's already hired."
.....
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! >_<
First of all, every bad thing I've ever done, I did either there or with somebody I wouldn't have know before working there. Second of all, lots of drama, unnecessary drama my little sis should not get involved in. Third, though there are a lot of people there that I love and am good friends with,but there are a lot more that hate me. And the people that hate me are definitely low enough to give Monica shit just because we're related. And fourth, there are some things that I've done that I'm not very proud of. I don't want Monica to A.) tell mom or b.) think less of me. =(
I don't know, maybe I'm just thinking too much.
-L
Current mood:  contemplative Current music: Alice in Chains Block on WBRU
Thursday, February 3, 2005
9:23PM
What the fuck?
Current mood: disappointed
Wednesday, February 2, 2005
But why not try it? I had an LJ a while ago, but I didn't update it for so long that it was deleted. Haha.
Today was so pointless. We were supposed to go just to get our final grades in all the classes and a new schedule for next term. But the schedules didn't get finished, my french and english teachers didn't finish correcting my final, and there wasn't one in Video Production. Algebra 2 was the only final I got back...I don't wanna talk about it.
And now...more important events:
BEN! :sighs:
I think for the first time almost 16 years, I have met a NICE boy. And he likes me! He thinks I'm beautiful! And he's tall! HeHe.
Tiffy-Tiff wants me to go to Rock'n'Bowl with her next Saturday again. I will, it was a lot of fun last week. I just hope I don't see Jake there again, that was weird. Ben's best friend Chris was there last time, and he said he'll try to get Ben to go. That way we can all bowl together. Last week though, there were like 35 people with me and Tiff, we took up 4 lanes. Fun
Times.
I can't believe I'm about to say this...but I miss work. I know it's been like 4 days, but I miss it. I was hoping my last day would suck really bad, but it was awesome. I was with everybody I like and they got me a going away cake and a card that everybody signed and wrote nice things in. It was soooo nice. AND Kyle said he forgives me and he gave me a hug and a kiss. There really are a lot of great people there. But I needed to get out, if not for me, then for the people around me. Because I'm pretty sure that all I've done the past few months is complain about work. Sorry guys.
Now that I'm jobless I don't really have anything. I need to get involved with more stuff. I made the mistake of telling my mom that; now I'm signed up for softball and my ex-boyfriends father will most likely be my coach. >_<
But seriously, I'm losing it. My best friend isn't even talking to me. Will ya fuckin' apologize already by the way? That's all I want, man. I always apologize to people first, I always make the plans, I always call. It's getting old, I'm very tired.
And now I have to get ready for the Y. Oh yeah, I go to the Y in North regularly now. Don't ask.
Current mood: restless Current music: Beck- Fuckin' with my head (mountain dew rock)
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ranger_pokey's journal